homestuck thingymcbloberder w)
by TheFlyingSnakeCat
Summary: truth dare or ask the homestuck charecters and shit like that!wow... i suck at writing fanfiction... good luck not leaving after reading the first chapter.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! =^w^=)_/  
This is one of my first fanfics, so please don't be mean! :|Im not good with very many quirks, so if you could show me, that would be wonderful!=^w^=)_/

"hi! I'm the flying snake cat, but you can call me lexi! Tho I would prefer you to call me Fsc!(flying snake cat) you spot a youngish girl with blonde hair that is dyed turquoise at the ends in a crazy hair style, She is wearing black yoga pants and a light blue dress that comes down to her knees She is also wearing cat ears and a kitty tail.  
fsc: I'm going to go, "pick up"(meaning kidnap,)the characters now through this transportalizer. =^w^=)_/  
Poof... THERE HERE!:D  
Nepeta: ac*wonders were she is!  
Terezi: OW. TH4T K1ND4 HURT.  
Karkat: WERE THE FUCK ARE WE!  
Fsc: welcome friends! For the next few however longs, you will be living here playing a big game of truth or dare! But instead of is daring each other, the reviewers are giving us dares!  
Vriska: 8ut what a8out y8u? Hmmmmmmmm?  
John: yeah, what about you?! If we have to suffer, shouldn't you?  
Jade: yeah! Bark!  
fsc:You can dare me stuff to, however, my moirail izzy will be extremely mad and most likely kill somebody if they are to goes with the characters if it is to outrageous, the outrageous dares are: anything rated m, (i have no intension for writing this kind of thing) bec noir, her imperial condeceation, lord English,(those 3 are not allowed for obvious reasons) and (exclusive for nemi) makeouts. outrageous truths: m rated stuff(again I would not, could not, write that stuff), and(exclusive for nemi,) personal info.(last name, and stuff like that.) I will, however,except characters from other fandoms.(see list of stuff I like on my profile,)I will except up to 4 characters for 3 chapters. So please follow this story and its rules and review!=^w^=)_/mew! 3 8o 3  
karkat:YOU NEVER FUCKING TOLD US WERE THE FUCK IN PARADOX SPACE WE ARE!  
nemi:somewhere over the rainbow. That is all I will say! :P

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••  
I'm sorry if they're ooc!


	2. yay! chapter stuff!

**yay i got reviews! im so happy! :D i dont own homestuck!**

fsc looks at seemingly random direction.

fsc: hello readers, thank you for the reviews! i have to go get the charecters. sorrys i have really bad grammer! :D

fsc then leaves the room.

two seconds later fsc and a small calico kitten come in followed by the beta and alpha trolls and humans

karkat:GOD DAMNIT! KANKRI STOP TALKING!

kankri: blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah...

fsc then brings out ducktape and hair dye

fsc:kankri shut up or i will ductape your mouth shut and dye your hair pink.

kankri then continued to talk about how triggering all of this is

kankri then gets his mouth taped shut and hair dyed pink

so lets get to the dares and shit! :3

the first is from Asian homestuck

 **I like the start of this terezi hate flirt with John Jane google "homestuck cotton candy Dave and dirk no shades for you in this chapter Jade empty a 5 liter bottle of apple juice in to the toilet in front of Dave karkat no swearing, for every curse you get a bucket on head with cherry jelly in it rose read the book "this book loves you. by Pewdiepie" sollux listen to skrillex kanaya wear sweatpants with polo shirt and sandals with socks and now a dare for EVERYONE, I DARE YOU ALL TO PLAY THE POCKY GAME (pockys are actually covered in hot Tabasco sauce but they don't know that) muahahaha good luck with next chapters FSC**

fsc: thanks! now terezi, hate flirt with john! ( _im not good at writing much but ill try!*has detirmined face*)_

terezi:OK4Y, JOHN 1 H4T3 YOU _SOOOO_ MUCH 1 W1SH YOU W3R3 D34D! :)

 _ **AFTER ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES OF TRYING TO WRITE THIS A FAILED EVERY TIME SO IM VERY SORRY :'(**_

fsc: hay Janey, can you google something for us?

fsc is trying to hold back fangirling about this ship. it is her otp

Jane: oh, okay! what is it?

fsc: google "cotton candy homestuck"

Jane then googles it. a light blush crosses her face at some of the pictures

fsc is to busy fangirling at pictures to pay attention. sorry.

 _two hours of fangirling later..._

fsc: im fine now.*looks at next dare, an evil smile crosses her face* oh striders!...

by some miracle, fsc gets the shades and locks them in a safe.

dave and dirk: damnit

fsc looks at next dare, an eviler grin crosses her face

fsc:jade, dave get over here!

jade and dave come over and a five liter bottle apple juice is thrown at jade

jade: ow!

dave: dude, not cool.

fsc poofs in a toilet

fsc: now jade, dump the apple juice into the toilet.

jade: but this is a lot of apple juice going to waste...

dave le death glare at fsc

fsc: now jade. :|

jade then dumps the apple juice in the toilet and dave is sad ( . /c57bbf7ef3aed460b452ac0563ac9ccc/tumblr_inline_nuoh2nziA11rh9l0a_ )

fsc: oh karkles, no swearing!

karkat: WHY THE FUCK NOT?

fsc: other wise you have to wear this!, oh to late, you swore!

fsc then proceeds to put a bucket of cherry jelly on karkats head

karkat: OH SHIT!

fsc: now rose, read this.

rose reads the book preview becuz i didnt buy the book

rose:well, this book is not very helpful, it would probably make people feel worse unless this is a joke

sollux starts to listen to **skrillex**

sollux: holy 2hiit, that wa2 awe2ome!

suddenly there was chainsaw noises

kanaya: Oh My Gog, I Will Not Wear That Horrible Outfit!

more chainsaw noises

fsc: vriska! please help!

more chainsaw noises

fsc: looks like the moral of the story is: dont even try to make kanaya wear that stuff*is hiding under table*

fsc looks at dare.

fsc: *wispers*muahahahahaha!

fsc: okay, im really sorry, but i dont know what the pocky game is let me goog- eridan, stop eating the pocky its for a game!

eridan: bluh! this stuff is really spicy! wwhat the fuck is in it!

fsc: your dumb ass was smacked upside the head with karma!

fsc: i dont know what the pocky game is becuz bing sucks and is showing me two different things, so i will have to attempt to find something to be funny... hey karkles... eat this.*le hands pocky to karkat*

karkat had just got the cherry jelly out of his hair and looked as if he would kill somthing he then shoves the pocky in his mouth and didn't even wince

everyone but karkat: how the fuck...*confused face*

fsc:... okay then, lets see the next dare,its from...

 **The INFINITY - '''writer**

 **(it has a great potential)**  
 **vriska I dare you to bite John (I dunno why) dirk Dave rap battle nepeta tackle pounce FSC Jake arm wrestle equius Jane secretly feed John Betty crocker product without telling him feferi and eridan eat sushi that's all from ME**

fsc:thanks! :3 hey vris, bite john

vriska raises eyebrow sneaks up on john and bites his arm

john:OW! vriska, what the heck?!

vriska: dum88ss,did y8u f8rget that were pl8ying truth or d8re? hmmmmmmmm?

john: oh yah... huh.

fsc: now, dave and dirk have a rap battle!

the striders then havethe most epic rap battle ever

 ** _DAVE: bro_**  
 ** _DAVE: right here_**  
 ** _DAVE: right now_**  
 ** _DAVE: thrown down some sick rhymes_**  
 ** _DAVE: ready_**  
 ** _DIRK: Do it._**  
 ** _DAVE: well_**

 ** _DAVE: doesnt stop from gettin taller, this motherfuckin rap pile_**  
 ** _DAVE: i can tell this is gonna be one hellacious trial_**  
 ** _DAVE: but only for you, i wont have to go the extra mile_**  
 ** _DAVE: its rap battle time bro, were doing this strider style_**  
 ** _DAVE: alpha vs beta, now whos gonna win_**  
 ** _DAVE: in case it isnt clear, just let me begin_**  
 ** _DAVE: stepping up, strider pre-scratch_**  
 ** _DAVE: the original, the best, and winning this match_**  
 ** _DAVE: sure youve rapped with your robots_**  
 ** _DAVE: they might even be hotshots_**  
 ** _DAVE: but up against a human_**  
 ** _DAVE: you dont know our soft spots_**  
 ** _DAVE: cause robots are only as clever as you make em_**  
 ** _DAVE: and with their dumb metal brains, i can see why you slay em_**  
 ** _DAVE: but guess what, your robots arent here for you now_**  
 ** _DAVE: youre up against me, and ill show you how-_**  
 ** _DAVE: -rapping should be DONE_**  
 ** _DAVE: cant beat this guy_**  
 ** _DAVE: cause youre gonna fail on your very first try_**  
 ** _DAVE: in your world i made millions before you were born_**  
 ** _DAVE: while you in my world just made puppet porn_**  
 ** _DAVE: movie director versus lame puppeteer_**  
 ** _DAVE: i think we can see whos the better one here_**  
 ** _DAVE: youre running out of time, i strike straight to the heart_**  
 ** _DAVE: you can barely even rhyme, game over, no restart_**  
 ** _DAVE: im kicking your ass with raps fresh and slick_**  
 ** _DAVE: the winner heres dave, so go suck smuppet dick_**

 ** _DIRK: It isn't even funny how much I've got you outclassed._**  
 ** _DIRK: If you need some proof, just look at the past._**  
 ** _DIRK: I kicked your ass as Bro, and don't you forget:_**  
 ** _DIRK: I'm the puppetmaster, you're just a marionette._**  
 ** _DIRK: The unseen hand's mine that pulls all the strings._**  
 ** _DIRK: Manipulate a Knight? I could command kings._**  
 ** _DIRK: And let's face it, your katana's a cheap piece of shit._**  
 ** _DIRK: In a battle of swords, I could break it to bits._**  
 ** _DIRK: In this battle of words, you're just a fish out of water._**  
 ** _DIRK: You think you can win? You're just a lamb for the slaughter._**  
 ** _DIRK: Strider and Strider may seem the same,_**  
 ** _DIRK: Yet I still manage to beat you at your own game._**  
 ** _DIRK: What you've done so far is really quite lame._**  
 ** _DIRK: You're disgracing the name, man, it's really a shame._**  
 ** _DIRK: The Prince of Heart can shatter one's soul._**  
 ** _DIRK: A Knight serves a Prince, so embrace your role._**

 ** _DAVE: you want me to serve you? ill serve this instead_**  
 ** _DAVE: a piping hot plate of fresh fucking dread_**  
 ** _DAVE: and if i had to wear that pink tiara on your head_**  
 ** _DAVE: i wouldnt even venture near my quest bed_**  
 ** _DAVE: and what the fuck is with those pantaloons_**  
 ** _DAVE: all blown up and stripey like two big balloons_**  
 ** _DAVE: yeah im wearing my god duds all this while_**  
 ** _DAVE: but im rocking this cape with irony and style_**  
 ** _DAVE: ive come a long way since my pointy shade days_**  
 ** _DAVE: cmon you can do better than that played-out phase_**  
 ** _DAVE: the irony you have is so old its stale_**  
 ** _DAVE: deader than your void session_**  
 ** _DAVE: doomed to fail_**  
 ** _DAVE: so you and your tiara just look like a tool_**  
 ** _DAVE: while im a god of time and the coolest of cool_**  
 ** _DAVE: my turns over_**  
 ** _DAVE: time for your go_**  
 ** _DAVE: lets see what youve got to say to that_**  
 ** _DAVE: bro_**

 ** _DIRK: That attitude ain't good man, if you recollect._**  
 ** _DIRK: You'd better start treating me with some fuckin' respect,_**  
 ** _DIRK: Or at least drop some rhymes with a decent effect._**  
 ** _DIRK: Because anyone can see, bro: your shit is wrecked._**  
 ** _DIRK: Now I don't wanna jeer,_**  
 ** _DIRK: But I think it's clear,_**  
 ** _DIRK: That I'm in top gear,_**  
 ** _DIRK: While you're at nadir._**  
 ** _DIRK: You act all austere,_**  
 ** _DIRK: I see through the veneer._**  
 ** _DIRK: You shouldn't come near,_**  
 ** _DIRK: Cause you might shed a tear,_**  
 ** _DIRK: Out of sheer fucking fear._**  
 ** _DIRK: You'd better steer clear._**  
 ** _DIRK: (And I mean this sincere.)_**  
 ** _DIRK: So do a pirouette straight outta here._**  
 ** _DIRK: The Prince is awake; the Knight is a snooze._**  
 ** _DIRK: I'd say that you challenged me, but this was a cruise._**  
 ** _DIRK: I could breeze through your battles on auto-respond._**  
 ** _DIRK: Game's up, Strider, time to abscond._**

 **these words are not fsc's**

everyone claps

nepata: ac* stalks her prey... she pounces! and succesfurrly catches her prey!*

fsc:ahh nepeta caught me!

nepeta: yay! that was fun!

fsc: okay,hey jake and equius, arm wrestle time!

jake: yah!

2 seconds later,

jake: OWOWOWOW!THAT HURTS!

equius: ...

fsc: *wispers to jane* (feed john this cupcake)hey john, jane made you a cupcake!

john: really? cool!*le eats cupcake whole*

fsc: its a betty crocker cupcake!

john:*face visibly paled* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE BATTERWITCH!

Jane: whats wrong with Betty Crocker?!

suddenly you hear shouts and me shoving sushi down eridans throat while feferi quiely wimpers eating it with teary eyes

feferi:you guys are glubbing cruel!GLUB! 38'(

 **im very sorry if theyre ooc! ill try to do better next time!**

 **who is the mystirios calico kitten from erlier?what will happen next? find out next time on, homestuck thingymcbloberder!**

 **TheFlyingSnakeCat out!**


	3. my moirail

Hello guys! my moirail cc reviewed and we have 2 dares! Pls review so there can be more! I don't own homestuck

Fsc wakes up to the mysterious cat from last time. The small cat looks up and meows.  
Fsc: hello sunpaw! Cc is coming today! Lets go wake everyone up! :D  
Fsc walks to two rooms and gets a megaphone.  
Fsc: GET THE FUDGE UP OR I WILL SHOVE YOUR FACES IN A WOOD CHIPPER! :D  
Kankri, who recently got the duck tape off of him starts talking about how triggering that was.  
Everyone except kankri: nooooooooooooooooooooooo!just stop talking!  
Suddenly, the small calico cat, who got awoken from her sleep yay again walked over and scratched everyone's faces  
Fsc: ow, really sunpaw!? was that Really necessary!?  
Fsc:any ways, we have dares from my moirai-  
the door opened and fsc's face brightened  
?: hell-  
Fsc: IZZYBELL! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! COMEONLETSTORTURECHARECTERS! YOUCOMEUPWITHTHEBESTDARESANDSHITMYMOIRAIL!  
CC(izzybell) gets glomped  
Fsc: oh yah, you guys get it easy today. Only two dares. :/  
Man, the sigh of relief, that swept through the room, ,:(  
Guest(capriciosCat)(CC)  
Hey fsc! It's ur moirail here. Great job on the chapters you have posted! Can u do me a favor and get jade and jake to have a shooting contest? And make John and Dave put makeup on karkles! see u soon RR!  
Fsc: okay, jade and Jake are going to have a shooting contest, place your bets  
Then a shooting contest starts and jade barely won round one  
Round two and jake won by a centimeter  
Round three and jade won again.  
Fsc:The winner is Jade Harley!:D  
Jake: good job Jade! :D  
Jade: thanks! :B  
Fsc and CC: and now, DAVE, JOHN, AND KARKLES! GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE!  
~~~~~ time skip ~~~~~~~~~  
Karkat: GOGFUCKINGDAMMITYOUNOOKSNIFFINGBULGELICKINGDOUCHEBAGS!GOTOFUCKINGHELL!THISLIPSTICKSHITFEELSHORRIBLE!THERESFUCKINGEYESHITINMYEYES!GOTOHELL!  
Fsc: karkat, this is a dare, do not make me shove you face into a meat grinder! :D  
CC:lol! Karkat looks hilarious!  
Karkat:FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-  
Fsc then closes the soundproof door after taking pictures  
Fsc: this wasn't that fun, so I will bring hollyleaf from warrior cats in. I will make her able to talk so you may ask her questions. sunshadow can talk to.  
Fsc snaps her fingers and hollyleaf appears, sunpaw comes in, and nepeta and roxy squeal at the sight of the cats.  
Hollyleaf: where am i- AUGH TWOLEGS! STARCLA-ME NO! O_O  
sunshadow: its okay, you are going to be here for 3 chapters, my twoleg has made us able to speak twoleg for 3 chapters. I will show you some good hunting places because me and lexi, my twoleg, despise kittypet food.  
Hollyleaf calms down but is suspicious  
Fsc: goodbye readers, see you next time!  
Bye bye! Please review so I can write more chapters! Goodbye peoples! I put in hollyleaf as a reminder that i will allow other characters for 3 chapters! Bye!


	4. happy 413!

**hi... i don't own anything, and i NEED reviews! PLS! im begging you people! any ways, we only have one review, and it only has one(very hilarious!)dare!**

 _ **HAPPY**_ **413!**

it was a nice day, people walking around the house, EXTREMELY board, when all of a sudden-

izzy: FSC GET OFF OF ME GOD DAMMIT!

fsc: no

izzy: RIGHT NOW!

fsc: no

izzy: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

karkat:WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK...

then, the computer dings and fsc has disappeared.

everybody but izzy:OH SHIT!

izzy is laughing her face off and everybody else is scared

fsc casually walks into the room

fsc: :( sadly, you're getting it easy today.

izzy: awwwwwww :(

fsc:well here's our one dare...

 _ **guest**_

 _ **Hello! Your fanfiction is adorable! (I love how you have Warriors and Homestuck!) Can I dare Dirk to get Dave to wear a Sailor Moon outfit? Thank you! I love your writing! X3**_

fsc: why thank you guest! yo kanaya!

kanaya: *looks at the dare* On It! *le runs off*

izzy: since when does kanaya know what sailor moon is?

rose: since the striders got Kanaya to babysit them when lexi fell asleep on the ecto machine all that time ago.

izzy: okay then. when was that?

fsc: you act as if its been years since that happened, while in reality it was right before izzy got here! :\

 _ **meanwhile, with the cats:**_

sunshadow: and that's how my twoleg fell asleep on the ecto machine

hollyleaf: well then

jasprosesprite^2:yup! wow i love myself!

mutie: Meow! mew meow mrow! (jasprose! tell her about the time Roxy beat HIC's ass!)

jasprosesprite^2:ah yes that wonderful time! *whispers*omfg i was awesome as heck at that time!

 _ **back with the humans! :D**_

kanaya: All Done!* holds up sailor moon outfits*

dirk: so cool!

Dave: so ironic!

 _ **after the striders change**_

karkat facepalms

terezi REALLY wants to eat Dave's seeing as it was red

mayor wonders what the actual fuck it is

Jake could care less (rly? are you shore you don't care? hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm? ;) )*he actually has terrible nosebleed *

Roxy was somewhere over the rainbow, probably with the cats

rose snickers

nepeta takes a picture

davepetasprite^2 looks in envy at the costumes

fsc and izzy are laughing their faces off

everyone else either wasn't in the room,couldn't care less, or the author is WAY to lazy

(the striders look awesome)

 **anyways, i cant think of anything, so happy 413! may you all be happy! umbreons are awesome, cottoncandy is my otp, cats are life, an pls review! thanks!**

 **TheFlyingSnakeCat OUT!**

 **goodbye! until nextime on Homestuck Thingymcbloberder!**


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